Children's writing: Story telling - by Nabeeha

Thank you for sharing your super writing, Nabeeha. What a collection of fantastic story beginnings you have created - each one a unique response to a different picture. You have done a spectacular job finding just the right words to create mood and tension in these pieces.

Let's take a closer look ...

1) The Magical Swing



You have chosen a brilliant way to start - by describing the setting and action of one of the characters. It draws your reader in straight away because we want to know why Lilly is sitting there. Your choice of the adjective 'kaleidoscopic' for the sky paints a magical atmosphere. Your personification of the moon 'sitting' behind the character makes it sound alive. Great job, Nabeeha.

Let's read ...

2) The Grey Skies

Wow! You have used pathetic fallacy to give an emotion to the sky (the lonely skies), and this sets the mood right from the start. Super choice, Nabeeha. Starting the second paragraph with a verb (Looming overhead, ...) gives variety to your sentences and makes it more interesting for the reader.

3) The Storm

 
This writing paints of picture of Ben who starts out the day thinking everything is going to be ordinary. You choose to show him as a little picky (Of course, it had to match), which is brilliant because this is showing us the inner personality without explicitly telling us he is picky. Excellent, Nabeeha!

Let's read ...

4) The Snow Dragon

Your writing here starts with action - straight in there! This is excellent because it is fast paced from the start. Stating that the snow 'barges' gives it the image of being a bully, taking no prisoners. However, you suggest that in spite of this impending chaos, there is stillness. And, this is eerie! Great choice to set this as the mood before the dragon is unveiled.

Let's read ...