Children's writing: using a cliffhanger with a dash and ellipses - by Manasvi

Your writing really builds tension, Manasvi. Straight away, you have used a cliffhanger with a dash and ellipses. This is very effective and proves that we don't have to wait until the end of a paragraph or a story to use a cliff-hanger! Good choice.

You have also chosen powerful verbs (gritted, watering, raged, lashed) to help build tension. In addition to this, you have built a picture of the creature so well by describing his appearance and emotions:

Examples:

Ahriman’s tentacle-like squid face started watering as its dark blue body glowed in the constellation blue sky ...

... he monster raged at the sight of a boat crossing HIS sea ...

He lashed out as the tentacles on his face grew longer and longer ready to snap at anytime.

Thank you for sharing this super writing, Manasvi.

Let's read ...

Beneath The Water

He gritted his teeth - he knew what was coming next…

Ahriman’s tentacle-like squid face started watering as its dark blue body glowed in the constellation blue sky. It’s thin human-like body could touch the bottom of the deep blue sea. Suddenly, the monster raged at the sight of a boat crossing HIS sea; in Ahriman's mind, this was not allowed . He lashed out as the tentacles on his face grew longer and longer ready to snap at anytime.

BAAAASSSSSSHHHHHHH!!!!!

Screams erupted from the little boat as it tipped over into the sea: the girl lay face down in a pool of blood-red water…

-ends-