Children's writing: powerful verbs - by Selena
17.02.22
Thank you for sharing this super writing with us, Selena! Your 'Titan Spider' story builds an image of this beast so clearly by peppering the description with well-chosen verbs (thumped / sprayed / dangled / eliminated / crept) and adjectives, along with carefully chosen punctuation such as brackets and ellipses. You have written with a real sadness towards the end (' ...with a sigh of sorrow...'), where the character looks back at the ruined town, which is great because we want our readers to feel strong emotions.
You wrote this during one of our Weekly Writing Clubs where we look at a new picture each week and focus on one writing skill – and for this challenge for Year 4, we experimented with verb choices. You explored and discussed the image, learnt new vocabulary and ways to use it and then tried out this skill focus. Then, you produced this piece of writing. Wonderful!
Let's read ...
The Titan Spider - by Selena 
As the spider thumped through the town, a stream of lime-green venom sprayed on the villagers (who were running away). It was attacking everything in its path. I watched from my bedroom window as its stream of venom dangled from its fangs. Everyone was as white as a ghost and screaming louder and louder as it crept towards them! The spider shot its stream of venom at the villagers and eliminated them! Then it suddenly looked at my bedroom window and its savage needle teeth peeked out. I dashed to my bed and went under my covers.
I crept back out and glanced at the window, and there was nothing. Just broken empty streets, until I saw it! That titan spider! It was creeping towards me! Its lime-green venom lasered and shattered the glass! I quickly hid under my bed. The spider let out a large screech. I got more and more frightened... but I didn't want to show it. In the corner of my eye, I saw a boy. The boy distracted the spider and whispered "run" to me. While the boy was distracting the hefty spider I had one last look at my once beautiful town. With a sigh of sorrow, I started to make a dash towards the woodland.
-ends-