Children's writing: Platform 6 - by Reyansh

Wowzers! You've built the tension so well in this piece of writing, Reyansh! You have carefully added detail about time and this seems to slow the story down, but make the reader's heart beat faster. This is a great technique.

Examples of how you have used time and sound to create tension:

• His train was delayed for 1 hour.
• He glanced nervously at his watch.
• He rushed and locked the door.
• Te took out his phone and the battery had died.
• The station closed.
• Metaphors - a throbbing silence / a deathly silence
• He could hear his own gasping breath and the tick, tick of the clock.

Thank you so much for sharing your super writing.

Let's read ...

While Reyansh was coming back from a college party, he had to travel late at night alone for the first time. He was confident and he kept his travel plan ready. However, things began to change when he got to know after reaching the station about his train being delayed for 1 hour. 

Reyansh glanced nervously at his watch (a brand new apple watch). After having a small snack, he thought he had enough time to go to the toilet. He rushed as he locked the door, he realized the latch of the door got stuck. He took out his phone for help but unfortunately it ran out of battery. He panicked.  He kicked and shoved the door until eventually it broke. It took him long enough for the station to close. 

When he came out, he saw no one. There was a throbbing silence. He looked around but it was deathly silence. Only his own gasping breath was a noise he could hear along with Tick, Tick, Tick. Platform 6 was really creepy and spooky in the  dark winter night.  Silence came surging back and Reyansh was so petrified. He just wanted to get out of the station. Could he escape?