Children's writing: Continue a story - by Alicia

What an amazing 'continue the story' piece of writing, Alicia. This is captivating from the start due to your excellent choices of image to describe the terrifying thin man coming out from behind the trees.

Example:

• The creature gave a terrifying hiss like a python. 
• The leather man cackled.
• The wolf growled in delight.
• As the marmalade sun shone on the creature, the children covered their mouth in horror.
• The creature had… empty vessels for eye.
• Brown translucent skin.
• It snarled; beady eyes were staring at the children.

And, an excellent choice of  personification for the sky later in the writing as trouble brews:


The previously cobalt-blue sky turned raven-black in warning.

Let's read ...

The Leathermen

    The creature gave a terrifying hiss like a python. A wolf sat at his leg, bowing dramatically. As if to answer, snow sprayed like someone vomiting. The leather man cackled. The wolf growled in delight. As the marmalade sun shone on the creature, the children covered their mouth in horror. The creature had… empty vessels for eye. Brown translucent skin. It snarled; beady eyes were staring at the children.

    Bill’s shallow breathing turned silence and his face turned pale as he looked at Jonk faintly.

“O-o-h-h n-n-o-o… What sh-ou-ld w-e d…o…Jonk?”, Bill whimpered. Then, without warning, a snowflake landed on Arf’s nose and he wrinkled his nose with frustration, in hope of flicking it off. Instead, he made Bill’s upside-down smile rotate. Silence followed. Jonk broke the silence by saying, “I think we have to fight them or run home.”

    She unexpectedly scooped a handful of mud and poured them over herself; she scooped up several more handfuls of mud again and poured them over Bill and Arf. Although Bill’s face was covered by thick layers of penny-brown mud, Jonk could see very vividly that his face had gone into a dangerous shade of red as if flames were erupting from the top of his head while Arf glared at her lividly. Jonk shrugged and used a stick and wrote the explanation on the snow it said: We have to cover our scent, the hideous monsters can smell us. Afterwards, Arf nodded but Bill crossed his arms.

Scrunch. Scrunch. A leather man was walking towards them. “Run!”, bellowed Jonk as the three of them hurtled themselves to the direction of their house. The attacking leather man fell dead on the ground. The children lay on their ‘snow-garden’ as they caught their breath. Suddenly, a group of leather men appeared out of the forest. The previously cobalt-blue sky turned raven-black in warning. The leather men were getting closer.

“Guys, we’re not safe yet,” panted Jonk.

     Fear sent bumps all over the children as they ran into the kitchen to grab the knives, to defend the entire village. Fortunately, their parents were still at work so they would not be stopped from their mission with the knives. As the first leather man stepped into the house it let out a sharp, piercing, shriek as the knifes blade dug into its leathery skin. Suddenly, A sharp ray of light blasted across the sky after the marmalade sun succeeded to fight the darkness. The leather men dissolved into smoke as the sunlight reached them.

“Good job guys, we won!”, Jonk yelled and did a victorious leap.

-ends-