Children's writing: Beneath The Sea (using a cliffhanger with a dash and ellipses) - by Kai

When you wrote this during one of our Weekly Writers' Clubs last term, you were sharing it with me on the chat as we went along, and I knew then it was going to be a stupendous piece of writing. The fact that you wrote this in about 12 minutes is testament to your excellent writing skills, Kai. This is packed with carefully chosen imagery and the structure is just excellent. Having now written with you for well over a year, I can see that your hard work, skill and determination to convey meaning with words is paying off. This is a triumph!

Let's read ...

Beneath The Sea

The thunder growled - the webs of lightning flashed menacingly. The rain lashed down on the miserable sea as the ship struggled.

But that was not it. Never did they know that an enormous sea monster was bulldozing towards them at the same time.

 It’s colossal, metallic body glimmered in the light of the ship. The hideous creature swam closer and closer towards the ship. It had a large, knobbly head (that was shaped like a turnip) which had scissor-like needle-sharp teeth. On its forehead was a bulging, beady, black eye that glinted maliciously. Sprouting from its torso were long arms that were like octopus tentacles. 

Today was a catastrophe for the travellers inside the struggling ship. The thunderous sound of the storm and the webs of lightning flashed at the same time as the rain lashed down on the miserable sea. Ominous clouds swelled up in the sky, puffing up.

However, the travellers inside the ship never knew what was going to happen. They were just caring about the treacherous weather. They huddled together, but the next moment - BANG! Something large and scary struck the boat. It was the monster. Jets of salty water erupted from the sea - the people screamed with fright. The only object they could observe was the blood red water that enveloped them…