Children's writing: Using repetition - by Selena

This is a fantastic piece of writing, Selena, jam-packed with beautiful language choices and images! Thank you for sharing it with us. It's funny that the character was feeling lots of movement and it turns out that she was probably turning over in bed while dreaming. I've had dreams like that!

The target in our Weekly Writing Club class this week was to try some repetition, and it's wonderful to see that you started the story with, 'Wherever she looked, wherever she stepped...' This is very effective and a great way to draw your reader in. Well done!

Let's read ...

The Enchanted Forest - by Selena

Wherever she looked, wherever she stepped, it felt like she was leaping into the air. Heather held on tight to her umbrella as she covered the fiery sun. She ran towards the forest and started hovering! She was amazed! Heather screamed in joy! She let go of her ink-black umbrella and thought that it would drop into the carpet of ivy-green leaves, but the umbrella was floating!

 

I must have been in an enchanted forest. There was no gravity; otherwise how could I be still floating in the air? A few minutes later, a strong wind (that was like a tornado) flew past Heather. She became petrified! The wind made her flutter towards a mysterious place.

 

When the blustery wind stopped, Heather was exhausted! She looked around, until she saw a cave. She swam towards it, until something surprising happened! When she dropped down on her knees, she figured out that there was gravity in the cave! Heather was so surprised;there was no gravity in the forest, but there was in the cave! She bounded out of  the mysterious cave and went soaring into the air towards the canopy. She saw, high in the oak treetops, there was a peaceful place to have a rest. 

 

The next day, Heather leapt out of the treetops and the moment that happened, there was a thud! She fell off her bed and bumped her head. Heather realized that it was all a dream.

-ends-