Children's writing: One Gentle Footstep - by Rayyan

What a captivating way to start this writing and build tension from the start, Rayyan!

One gentle footstep was all it took to shock Sally.

Then, you use a lovely metaphor to show how she was feeling:

Her body turned to stone.

Your choices of figurative language all the way through this piece of writing are great; they build a picture in the reader's mind of what it was like in the cave and what the character was feeling.

This simile teamed with a metaphor is a powerful choice:

Her eyes were like emeralds shimmering in the miserable depths of night.

Thank you for sharing this wonderful writing.


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