Children's writing: The Creature - by Onvi

 

Your sky descriptions set the mood for this writing, Onvi. They are powerful because you use well-chosen colour choices as well as verbs that personify the weather.

Example:

The ghoul-grey sky moaned loudly as if it was sick with raining cotton-white snow.

Your opening is so intriguing - you dot tell us too much about the creature, but the fact that someone has been riding this shadow is both exhilarating and petrifying!

Example: 

Fritza rode the colossal, shadow-black creature as the snow hastily fell like boulders.

Thanks so much for sharing your excellent writing.

Let's read.